Friday, December 31, 2004

ALIVE IN '05!

I read that somewhere this week. I have officially stolen adopted it as my mantra for the new year.


I appreciate it literally, because I am (as we all are) lucky to be here to see the new year.
But I appreciate it on a different level, too. I feel more aware, more alive, and more in control on so many levels.

So, I anticipate the new year with an open heart, an open mind, and open eyes.

I'm ringing in the New Year with Buddy and Nathan and a few other friends.

Cocktails at 7, dinner at McCormick and Schmicks at 8, countdown at Pookie's (to include much kissing of boys!) and finally Charlies for dancing. (We are cabbing all night.)

I can't wait.




Happy New Year to my friends, my family, and even the gawkers and haters.


Thursday, December 30, 2004

She-Cares! Drag Queens Against Disaster!


DRAG QUEENS AGAINST DISASTER!
Female impersonators join forces to raise badly needed funds for Tsunami Disaster Victims


THIS SUNDAY, 01/02/05 She-Lounge Presents a fundraiser for The American Red Cross and it's Overseas Disaster Relief Fund.

Help us raise desperately needed funds for the amazing work done by the Red Cross!

with Angela Dodd, Gia Monique, and Barbra Seville.
Sponsored by E-Lounge, Unique on Central, Echo Magazine, OutFar! Film Festival, Arizona Theatre Company, and Bud Light!

Showtime 9:30


Like People Have Done For Thousands of Years Before Us

Like people have done for thousands of years before us, a gaggle (an exaltation ? a murder? a bevy? ) of queens gathered the day after Christmas for brunch at Joey and Fredric's uber-fabulous Paradise Valley home, and watched the latest volume of Guys Gone Wild.




I have to say it was kind of VERY hot to watch drunk, cocksure, and SEXY "straight" boys flash their goodies for the cameras. A few of them actually get a little more personal. And the dvd extras? NICE.

It is also funny to watch the guys with small penises hide them. They act so tough, but then get embarassed when they have to show their stuff. If I have said it once, I have said it a 1,000 times: If you are cute and have a nice butt, you do not need too much cock.

(I swear that had an entirely different meaning when I thought it.)



I took my tree down last night. I am very impressed. I organized everything very nicely. The sections of branches for the tree each had their own little bag, which fit PERFECTLY back in to it's original box, my lights went back in to their packages, and all of the decorations stowed quite perfectly in to three storage containers. It was very
Marth Stewart.
Except for the whole "me not being in jail" thing.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

For PJS

This is just for you,
PJS!



The Muppets' Wizard of Oz.

Starring Ashanti (don't ask me why) as Dorothy, Fozzy as the Cowardly Lion, Kermit as the Scarecrow, Gonzo (I love him) as Tin Man, and PIGGY as the Witches of the East, West, North, and South.


This Took Less Than Two Minutes



In an Ideal World...

What is YOUR personality?

I’m an IDEALIST, I guess:


Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

But You GOT To Have Friends...

"Friends. A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life." -Kate Tierney

My friends have been my life support this year. The ones who tell what I need to hear even when I do not want to hear it. The ones who listen to my problems when they do not want to hear them. The ones I have found in unusual places. The ones that have come back (seemingly) from nowhere. The ones I never knew were friends. The ones who never knew how much they meant. The ones that have slipped away. All of them. They have held together the sack of emotions, trials, tribulations, and drama that I call my life.

When I look back on most of the 366 days that are 2005, I am forced to realize that my life is better than I ever knew. I am more blessed than I probably deserve. I await the wonder of tomorrow. It's not guaranteed to me but I know that it if it is mine, I will only make it through because of my friends.

Monday, December 27, 2004

A Love Song For Bobby

You've been down in the dumps
it seems like forever.
Now, what have they done to you?
Not a single thing's turned out
the way you imagined.
It all looks unreachable to you.


You don't know for the life of you
what is missing,
or why it always happens to you.
And you don't like yourself,
you feel nobody's listening.
You don't need another platitude.


For a moment you forget
and a smile comes to your face.
Aah, but it doesn't last too long.
It's like a string you got tied
around your finger
reminding you of
everything that's wrong.


I won't try to say I know what you're feeling.
I won't try to second guess you.
I won't try to give advice you won't be needing.
I'm only here to comfort you.
I'm only here to comfort you.


And I'd love to be the reason
a smile comes to your face,
even if it doesn't last too long.
And I'd love to take that string
you've got tied around your finger
reminding you of everything that's wrong.


I won't try to say I know what you're feeling.
I won't try to second guess you.
I won't try to give advice you won't be needing.
I'm only here to comfort you.
I'm only here to comfort you.
I'm only here to comfort you.

3 Holiday Releases, 2 Buckets of Popcorn, and a Huge Slab of Yummy Prime Rib

GO BACK TO MY SITE ALREADY!

Christmas Eve and Christmas were just great! I did most of my shopping on Christmas Eve. The weather was perfect, the malls were bustling (but not packed to the point of being obnoxious), and I was looking resplendent in my red sweater.

I was so proud of the gifts I got for my friends and family, giving each gift a lot of thought.
People came over after the show and we drank wine, spiced cider, nibbled on cookies, and everyone was forced to listen to enjoyed the new Clay Aiken Christmas CD.

After a slight scare of carbon monoxide poisoning (my Susan Mayer moment of the night occurred as 15 or 20 of my friends had to flee my townhouse to escape the plenteous fumes coming from the closed fireplace) we re-grouped and enjoyed a grown up holiday party.

Christmas Morning, after a rough start, Parley and I did indeed take in three movies. "The Aviator" was fantastic. It got a little bit long winded in a few scenes, but as a whole, the movie ROCKED. Cate Blanchette was fantastic. Ditto with Leonardo Dicaprio. It doesn’t hurt that there was a butt shot of Leo.

"Meet The Fockers" was a bit of an embarrassment for everyone concerned. I like a good poop joke as much as the next person, but this movie was just the tiniest bit too "Jr. High" for me.

After scouring the area for a place for dinner (We were turned away at the Ritz! "No room at the inn," they told us! We know what Mary and Joseph must have felt like! ) we had dinner at "Omaha Steakhouse." I had delish prime rib, and then it was back to the theat-ah.

"Phantom of the Opera" was stunning. It’s gorgeous, well acted, beautifully sung, and for the most part, a perfect Christmas treat. It was almost unbelievable that Emmy Rossum was only 16 or 17 when she played the role of Christine Daae. She was amazing. Sure the movie is a bit long, and sure some of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music is hard on the ears, but I can recommend this movie to anyone. Minnie Driver is adorable. Hammy? Yes.

I thought between POA and TA, I would have seen the BEST PICTURE of the YEAR. But neither of them affected me that way. I still need to see "Sideways" and "Closer."

Because it is the holiday season, I will not even go in to how irritated I am by people who willingly go in to public, people who willing go in to social situations, people who willing go to a party or brunch and sit in a corner with their PDA, lap top, or mobile phone. Stay home if your correspondence is that urgent. Happy Holidays.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Not For Emotional Freaks Like Me

Back to my site

This made me cry as I was eating a bagel and minding my own business this morning.



Am I feeling weak because of the holidays? Because my emotional needs are not being met? Or am I just a big old woman?

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

One Shot, Right Between the Eyes.

I am not a huge fan of reality television. Ten years ago, I (like a lot of my generation) was enthralled by the idea of watching ten strangers live together under one house. I could not wait to see what happened when the people stopped being nice and "got real." I loved "The Real World." I loved the innocence.

Maybe I was fooled, but I do not think those kids were acting for the cameras, none of them had any reason to believe that show would be as huge as it became, or that they would have the opportunities they had. The second season of the show had been filmed before the 1st had finished airing, so most of those people were still pretty un-jaded when they participated in it. But now, you cannot watch a reality show with out someone (most of them) trying to "play the game" or become that season's Puck, Omarosa, Richard Hatch, or Trista and Ryan. (I hate that most people know who I mean when I say only "Trista and Ryan.") Every move and every word is so convoluted and so played for the camera (I'm looking at you, Kimberly Caldwell from American Idol Season II!!!!!) that most of these shows bare not even the slightest resemblance to reality.

At least American Idol hopefuls have some degree (no matter how tiny - again, looking at you Branson Barbie!) of talent to back up their ambition.

This leads me to today’s rant:
Only FOX (home of Bill O'Reilly and Shepherd Smith) could bring us "Who's Your Daddy." I will not be posting a link to that show, because I forbid you to watch it or visit it's website. Lemme give you the breakdown.

A (of course) gorgeous woman who was adopted as a child is asked to pick her real father from a group of twelve men. If she chooses correctly, she wins $100,000. If she guesses wrong, they shoot her in the head.


No, not really. But why the hell not? What next? Was the "Tiniest Groom" not enough? Were we not disgusted by "My Big Fat Fiancée?" Do we still need more after "Who Wants to Marry a Convicted Batterer Millionaire?

Turn off the tube. Pick up a book. Better yet, write a letter, or call your mom.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Fine and Dandy. Like a Hard Candy Christmas.

My parents are in Boonton, New Jersey. My sister is going to Las Vegas, and now I have no plans for Christmas. I can’t get Robert (or Parley, or Buddy) to commit to doing anything on Christmas, so I may just go it alone. I will probably get two or three movies in. There are several BIG movies I have missed, so I can play catch up on my award season movie watching.

I’m not sad about it. I mean the whole of the holiday season is more than just the one day. In fact, my holiday season has been pretty great. Several parties, nice cards, some really sweet emails, and of course Thanksgiving reminded me of what I have in my life. But there is a tiny part of me that worries that this is just a preview of what my future Christmases will be.
Of course some of it is my fault. I’m so independent. Maybe too. And sometimes, I think I push people away from me.

There is a tiny part of me that will miss opening presents with my family. Seeing their faces when they open their gifts. My sister and my mom are both very emotional and demonstrative. Every present is worthy of a GASP, an excited shriek, or scream. My nephew will be missed on Christmas, too.

I am dragging every night between now and Christmas. I’m off from work on Christmas Eve and Christmas day.

Monday, December 20, 2004

I want to wrap it up in my pocket.. it's my bar of chocolate. Give it to me, NOW!

WANT TO GO BACK TO MY SITE?


Parley and I went to see "Finding Neverland" yesterday. What a sweet, wonderful story. I do not know how accurate a rendering of JM Barrie's life it was, but it made for an undeniably wonderful tear jerker. It has several truly sad moments, but what choked me up was the beauty of it. The truth in the children's eyes. Freddie Highmore plays the boy who inspired "Peter Pan." He broke my heart.


That's another thing. I cry at movies. A lot.
The sobbing, huffing, and gasping for air that you hear in the back of the theatre? That would be me. That's why I like to sit in the very back row. The nose blowing? Me. The person who sits in the theatre until everyone else has left? That's usually me, too. I like to sit there and collect myself. That way the people who are wondering who was such a blubbering mess never get to see me.

Maybe I have a chemical imbalance.
I cried at "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" last week. Luckily, I was in the privacy of my own home, so I could cry with only the mild dissapproval of my cocker spaniel to keep me company.

Almost as good as the movie, was seeing the trailer for "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".


Young Master Highmore impressed Johny Depp so much in "Finding Neverland", that he personally requested that he be cast with him in CATCF!

I think I might give "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" to several people this Christmas. (Sorry if you are one of the people getting it and you read about it here first!) It is one of my favorite movies.

Here's a taste:

Oompa Loompa

Oompa Loompa Doompadeedo
I have a puzzle perfect for you
Oompa Loompa doompadeedee
If you are wise
You will listen to me

What do you get when you guzzle down sweets?
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at getting terribly fat?
What do you think will come of that?
I don't like the look of it

Oompa Loompa Doompadeedaa
If you are not greedy, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa
Oompa Loompa Doompadeedo
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory


Oh- There are a few new pics in the GALLERY!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Due To Popular Demand

Well, maybe DEMAND is a bit excessive.

To my surprise, I have recieved a few e-mails from people who do not know me. Which is cool, because I thought just my friends, court appointed attorney, and family members where humoring me by reading my web blog. But my new readers have asked me what I look like out of the make up, wigs, and glamour.

So I am posting a pic here. There are more pics (in and out of drag) on my website: www.BarbraSeville.com.



I'm the blond-ish one.

TIN! Roof! Rusted!

The B-52's LOVE SHACK has burned to the ground.



How sad is that?
I loved that song back in the day. Evidently they wrote the song "Rock Lobster" in the "love shack" that singer Kate Pierson (she of the red bee-hive) lived in many moons ago.

When I did a google search for "Tin Roof Rusted," one of the first things that came up was this.
It's kind of funny.

Don't you hate it when you have been singing a song for years and someone overhears you singing the wrong words? Well now you can protect yourself!

A little hung over today. Nothing crippling, but enough to feel tired and listless.


Thursday, December 16, 2004

Morning Has Broken

Horrible, hateful, mean, awful, wicked Nathan I mean darling Nate sent me an email this morning with "Goodmorning Sunshine" in the subject line. It reminded me of a song from when I was little.

No, not "Good Morning Starshine," but "Morning Has Broken."

"Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the word

Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day"


It is by Cat Stevens (No relation) and my mom used to play it every Sunday morning. We would wake up to that and she would come in to our rooms, telling us to "Rise and shine." She would always be so chipper and it really irked me. (This is very interesting because my mom is actually a first rate biotch when she wakes up.) Sundays were the day when we always had a big family breakfast. There would always be eggs, fried potatoes, some sort of fried pork, and copious amounts of bread. (Toast, biscuits, pancakes, toast, and raisin toast were very popular.)
I hated Sundays because I could not sleep in, and because we had to eat that huge meal first thing in the morning. The smell of bacon and stuff would wake me up. Even now, when I smell breakfast food right when I wake up, it makes me feel sick. To this day, I do not eat breakfast and I will sleep in on weekends as long as I possibly can.


Since I was not good (or interested in being good) at sports, I would never get up and go outside and play with my brothers and neighbors. I loved just sleeping and dreaming the day away. Reading the newspaper, reading library books (one year I won an award for reading the most books!) and listening to my mom's records. That's why I still love Simon and Garfunkle (thier concert in Central Park is the BOMB!) Fleetwood Mac, Carole King, and Spike Jones. And of course Cat Stevens.

Monday, December 13, 2004

From My Lips To Your Ears


CLICK ON ME TO GO BACK TO MY SITE



My weekend was like most weekends lately, too short. Nathan and I went out and about on Friday night. We saw "Ocean's 12," went to Charlie's, and finally Denny's. (The bar and the restaurant.)

It was a totally fun night, involving pizza, margaritas, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The movie was fun (though it dragged in a few parts..) and theer is not one moment where CZJ did not take my breath away.

There is a hysterical scene where Julia Roberts' character, Tess is forced to pretend to be Julia Roberts. It's very clever.


I had a show at Pookie's but also had promised to perform at the Crystal Meth Anonymous Holiday Party.



Phoenix Lambda Center

This is one of the really cool things that Phoenix has to be proud of. This is a great facility which houses 12 step programs that are for and by the GLBT community. The groups that they offer range from Overeater's Anon, to Stop Smoking groups.



They treated us really well, and I was grateful to be invited and to be able to be a part of it. The show was a ton of fun- though it was odd to perform for a big room full of sober people!

After the CMA (which I kept thinking were the Country Music Awards) party, I had a great show at Pookie's.

Sunday is a blur. I think I was out of bed a total of 2 hours the entire day. I am not lazy, but sometimes NOTHING is better than lounging around all day in you pajamas.

Tonight is the E-Lounge Christmas party. YAY!
I have a date tomorrow.
Ugh.


Friday, December 10, 2004

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas ~ Must GAY TV ~ Return of the Grilled Cheese

Well, my website is finally updated, my tree is up, and I have started some Christmas shopping. I feel sooo productive. Sooo grown up.

Parley came over and trimmed my tree with me. We had Chinese food, watched Will&Grace, and then listened to Christmas carols and did the tree.

It's so pretty. Even though Parley broke at least three ornaments, he did a good job. My ADD kicked in about 1/2 way through the task and I would have been fine with just leaving the tree half decorated. But he rearranged the bulbs, fluffed the tree, and situated the angel so it sat perfectly straight.





I got the old fashioned, fat, tree lights like we used to have on my tree when I was little. We trimmed the tree is clear frosted balls, white flowers, and beaded fringe tassles I bought at Pottery Barn. (I bought about 50 of them to use for some drag costumes. Only about 7 or eight of them have made their way to the stage though.)

It was a great night.

Speaking of great nights.
Wed night on NBC was so great, it was almost gay.

Clay Aiken, Barry Manilow, and Megan Mullaly all joined forces for the gayest hour on NBC, since Queer Eye For the Straight Guy went back to Bravo.

Everyone knows I have a wierd crush on Clay. I always wondered if he was gay. I do not have to wonder any more.

After watching his holiday special, I can tell you that if Clay were an elected official, he would be the Gayor of the city of Homosexville.

I know you are reading this, Clay. Call me. I told you, it only hurts for a second, relax!


First the Holy Mother, and now me.
It has finally happened to me.
I have appeared in a grilled cheese sandwhich.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

White Elephants ***** A CAUTIONARY TALE*****

Back to my site

I wrote about the White Elephant Gift Exchange the other day.
You bring a gag gift or an unwanted gift and "re-gift" it.

I had been to several of these a few years ago. Wierd toilet paper dispensers, Liberace records, Yierd Al cds. Those were the norm. Novelty gifts, sex toys, things of that ilk.

So when I was invited to my first Echo holiday party 4 or 5 years ago, I brought a macrame wall hanger and when I wrapped the "gift" I trimmed it with a bow and tied a fake lottery ticket to the gift tag.




It all seemed like a great idea.

Until Ken picked my gift.


Everyone laughed and thought that the tacky wall hanging was a hoot. And then Ken's partner noticed the lottery ticket. As people were gathering their coats, he scratched the ticket to find out he had "won" $10,000.



Ken and Jonathan started hugging. At on point one them cried.


This is where I had to intervene and point out that it was a fake lottery ticket, a joke, a gag gift.

Suddenly it did not seem so funny.

The angry mob turned on me.



To this day, every year SOMEONE has to bring up the year that I brought the fake lottery ticket. Luckily for me, the victims of this harmless prank joke about it and tell me they thought it was funny.

When ever I see those tickets at "Spencer's" or the costume store, I always warn people about them.

"Oh, those look cute," they will say.

Then I recount THE STORY.

They all of a sudden get high and mighty and give me a disgusted look.
"Why would you think that was funny?" they ask me.

(Forgetting that a minute ago they had one in their hot little hand.)

So, do not let that happen to you.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Bitchiness As A Way of Everyday Communication.. Wonder Woman... Pageants

Robert and I talked a few months ago about how if we really knew people like Karen or Jack from "Will & Grace" that we probably would not like them.

Does that make sense? I mean on TV, it seems funny to always have a clever bitchy comment or observation, but the reality is far different.

I caught myself this weekend talking to some of my friends that way and it really upset me. I mean they were people I really care about and all we were doing was trading insults. So I asked one of them about it the next day and he totally agreed. Our friendships and conversations do not mean too much if all we are doing is trying to be clever.

This helped me realize that if the entire basis of a relationship is negativity and one up-manship, it probably doing more harm than good.

I posted recently about the blessings in my life, and trying to focus on them. Basically, I want to be happier in this life and I think putting out positive vibes might be a good step in that direction.

That's not to say that I cannot take a joke or make a joke. There will still be plenty o' that.



On another topic, Echo had it's Holiday Party last night.
The food was okay, but it was nice to sit and talk with some of the people who write for the magazine. A lot of the people who contribute articles never interface with the rest of us. So other than an occasional phone call or quick stop by the office, we never really visit.

There was also a "White Elephant" gift exchange. I got a really cool set of WONDER WOMAN note cards and stationary. I LOVED IT!


I loved that show when I was little.

Did you know Lynda Carter was a Miss Arizona and a Miss USA?






Did you know that Jineane Ford was Miss USA, too?





Wow, I really rambled a bit there.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Where 'da Baby's Daddy?

I don't like to throw lables around, but this chick has got to be the personification of White Trash.








SPECIAL NOTE TO THE STRETCH MARKS ON YOUR RIGHT.
I'M SURE THAT IF WE COULD SEE HER LEFT HAND, THERE WOULD BE A CIGARETTE IN IT.

IT SADDENS ME THAT TINA YOTHERS HAS COME TO THIS.

As a rule, you should never spend more time having your stomach written than you have spent on your hair.

Lookout Weekend, Here I Come

This weekend wore me out.
I did some Christmas shopping, watched "All About Eve," watched the Parade of Light with Buddy, Travis, and Nathan on Saturday. After that Robert and I went to the show at Wild Card in Chandler. On Sunday I went to Casa Grande with Jim and James for the Miss Az meeting. It was somewhat productive. I was surprised that Miss Gay Arizona was not there. But I will keep this positive.

The show last night was great, but I am worn out and had the worst time getting up this morning. I'm still dragging.

This week will probably kill me. In addition to four shows, I have the Echo holiday party. If I do keel over from exhaustion, here are some guidelines for the funeral:

1. Cry. Openly sob at the funeral. NO ONE SHOULD SAY THAT "RICHARD/BARBRA would not want us to cry." If you know me at all, you know I like a little drama. (*cough* N8 *cough*) In fact, if you feel like it, feel free to throw yourself on the coffin screaming, "TAKE ME INSTEAD!"

2. Hats. It would please me immensely to have the congregates wearing shoulder to shoulder hats, veils, pillboxes, and other somber head wear.

3. DO NOT BURY ME WITHOUT ONE OR TWO PIECES OF GOOD DRAG JEWELRY.

4. I have already made arrangements for someone to come to my house and get rid of the porn before my family gets there. (I'm in to some freaky stuff. )

5. No matter what Claudia says, I did not tell her she could have my "_______________________."
( fill in the blank: drag, hair, music collection, gowns, jewelry., etc.)

6. Send flowers. No "donations in my name." Send flowers. Lots of them.

7. Hire a sexy rent boy to show up late and mysterioulsy sob in the back row. Dark sunglasses, trench coat, the whole thing.

8. THIS IS IMPORTANT: Tori Spelling should not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, play me in the movie of my life.



Keanu Reeves asked expressed interest in this project.


Maybe Lisa Kudrow will want to do the Barbra parts.


(Or maybe Justin and Justine Bateman could split the part??)
Other ideas:



Mathew Perry as Buddy.



Matt Dillon as Parley.
(OR MAYBY PAUL HAMM???)




Kathy Bates as my mom.



Clint Eastwood as my dad.




Trisha Yearwood as my sister, Anne.



Only Leonardo could play my brother, Tony.



Neil Patrick Harris as Nathan.

In any case, this movie has OSCAR written all over it!
(maybe Emmy?)
(okay, fine. An ACE, Award for Cable Excellence.)

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Insert clever title here.

I had lunch with Jonathan and Scott from Pookie's today. They are looking for someone to take over the Thursday show. I just do not have the energy, desire, or patience to start a new show.

I am going to fill in from time to time at Charlie's while Josh is at camp, but that is entirely different from taking on a new weekly commitment.
Jim and I are still with Devina once a month.


It is nice to be asked, but it was also nice to be able to do something (or not do something, in this case) for myself.

When I left Pookie's in February, we left on really bad terms. So I am glad that they are (and I am ) in a better place and thay they felt comfortable inviting me. Going to the past is just what I am interested in right now.

I told everyone in 2003 that 2004 would be a year of less drag. EVERYONE scoffed. But I went from drag 3-5 times a week to drag 2 or 3 times a week. It feels better. I feel better (most of the time.) And I KNOW I look better (can I get an "AMEN!" up in here????).

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

No Day But Today



It’s World AIDS Day and I can’t believe I have heard hardly a word about it from my friends or really in the media.
Usually I get a forward from friends. I get emails from the groups I belong to. Someone will start a topic about it in one of the chat groups I frequent.
Not so this year.

I remember hearing that Rock Hudson had AIDS when I was little. I remember not knowing who Rock Hudson was. But I knew that this was not good.

Later that year I remember our gym teacher telling the boys in class to straighten their arms out while we were doing "circles."
You know, the exercise where you stand with your arms stretched out to the side, and move your arms in circles?

"Keep your wrists straight out, We don’t want any Rock Hudsons." He barked.

That is the kind of world I came of age in. A world where AIDS was scary. Where people with AIDS were people to be afraid of. Where kids with AIDS where not allowed to go to school.


I know this sounds wierd, but I am kind of glad I grew up with that around me, because I still fear AIDS.

I do not fear people with AIDS. And I am glad that the public's understanding of it has changed.
But I have seen AIDS. I worked with people with AIDS. I have had the opportunity to serve people with AIDS. I have seen people dying of AIDS.
Because of this, I still fear AIDS. I cannot say I am perfect and have never made a bad decision. But for the most part (and YES, I know….all it takes is one mistake.) I have been very safe when I have sex.

Not so with so many other people I know.

Why?
It’s because they are not afraid. They think a few pills will fix them right up.
Some are mad that they never got to have "normal" sex.
Some of my friends think that EVERYONE will end up with AIDS anyway, so they might as well have fun.
Some people have such low self-esteem that they think they are not worth protecting.

But I won’t go in to that today.

Today is a day to remember the people who have died from this disease. To remember the people who have spent their days, nights, and lives caring for people with AIDS. A day to remember and be thankful for the people who have dedicated their lives to finding a cure.

Looking back, I have lost so many people. Some were friends, others were merely acquaintances, some were co-workers, and some were clients. They all had people who loved them. They all had people who missed them. They left brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, cousins, nephews, nieces, lovers, wives, husbands, and friends.

Most of them would not want me to moan and complain about them all day. But I am sure all of them would like to be remembered. They would all like to know that their lives meant something.