Monday, January 31, 2005

Pretty Standard Stuff



Just the usual weekend in the semi-fabulous life of Sevillomatic. Drinks and dinner with Markus on Friday, lunch with Garry followed by lip-synching and dancing on Saturday, lunch and shopping with N8 on Sunday, all finished up by prancing, dancing, mincing, and just generally making a fool of myself for other people's amusement (or not, in some cases.)

I did treat myself to some down time, too. I rented "Coal Miner's Daughter"




"Supersize Me,"


and


"The Aileen Wuornos Interviews."



(HOW ridiculous is it that I could not find a picture for that????)

It was not until after I had watched all three of them over the course of the weekend that I realized they were all documentaries or biographies. See? Life IS more interesting than fiction.

Parley and Jeff came to the show at the bar last night. Parley brought along a friend that he swears I know. But Dog as my witness I had never layed eyes on the chap. He was a looker, too. I'd have remembered. I had a great time at the show, actually. Fun numbers, and of course I looked fantastic. (No- even I don't know how I do it.)



I ended the night at Charlie's with the She-Lounge cast of characters. A few beers later, and I was home. Then I sat in the dark watching some clips of old shows of mine.



No, not really.


Just kidding.






Kinda.

Friday, January 28, 2005

My Favorite Things PT II or Jerri's Kids.



"Hello, I'm Jerri Blank and I'm a 46-year-old high school freshman. For 32 years I was a teenage runaway. I was a boozer, a user, and a loser. My friends were dealers, cons, and 18 karat pimps. But now I'm out of jail, picking up my life exactly where I left off. I'm back in high school, living at home, and discovering all sorts of things about my body. I'm finding out that though the faces have changed, the hassles are just the same."



Meet Jerri Blank




She is (depending on when you ask her) anywhere from a 42-46 year old high school freshman.

Only daughter of the late Guy Blank.
She has one step-fag: Derrick.
Her step mother is a former homecoming queen, a notorious racist, an aspiring (but frustrated) actress, and can't wait to be filled up with Stew (the meatman's) babies.
Best friend of Orlando. She likes him despite his people's resemblence to monkeys. (Mighty white of her!)
She is the pain in the neck student of Chuck Noblet.
She is the object of affection of Jimmy Tickles. (She took his virginity on a first date.)

Despite the fact that she has seen it all, been there and done that ("that" being time...) Jerri is still surprisingly naive, easily hurt, and genuinely curious.

Putting all the wrong stereotypes in all the right places, Miss Blank navigates the troubles, travails, and bumpy road of adolescence as only a 46 year old (a child prodigy at age 46!) can. All the while she learns life's lessons and touches the people (usually inappropriately..) around her.

Get to know our little Jerri.

Watch for her domination of the big screen later this year.



Thursday, January 27, 2005

Whatever Happened to Baby Joan PT II

I told you about seeing Joan last week.

I hosted a celebrity look-a- like contest the week before the concert and they paid me with 6 free tickets to see Joan, and free drinks.

Yay me!

Here are some pics from that night.




THE WINNER AS RICHARD SIMMONS








gossiping with a new friend.

From My Lips To Your Ears

I have devoured the books of Augusten Borroughs from cover to cover.

I was exposed to him first with "Running with Scissors." Since then, I have thoroughly enjoyed his others, "Dry," and "Magical Thinking."

Despite the fact that (to my knowledge) he will not do interviews or publicity with gay press, I have enjoyed him immensely.

I almost pee’d myself when I read this from Liz Smith:


SHE'S GOT CLASS & A NEW FILM

January 27, 2005 -- 'I HAVE four children, Liz. They don't just go away!"

That's what Oscar nominee Annette Bening said — with a great big laugh — when I asked her this week if she is going to make another movie now that she's "hot."

Miss Bening actually called me, which was very nice of her. She knows I've been a big champion of "Being Julia." From the start, I felt she was Oscar-bound. Annette, who was driving around in Hollywood, phoned on her cell, which kept disconnecting. Every time it did, and I hung up, I figured, well, that's that. But she rang back to apologize for the cutoff, and we chatted a bit.


She will make another movie, starting in March. It's called "Running With Scissors," based on the book by Augusten Burroughs. Her co-stars are Gwyneth Paltrow, Jill Clayburgh and Brian Cox. "I'm very happy to be doing this film, it is an amazing and harrowing story! A really worthwhile project and such wonderful actors,……"

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

It's A Wonderful Day For Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.

The Oscar Nominations came out yesterday!
I love the Oscars. I am not as maniacal as some people I know, but I like the history of them, the build up, the clothes, and the drama.

A few weeks before Christmas I always start boning up on the "big movies" so that I have some idea what everyone is talking about when award season rolls around.

Best Picture

  • The Aviator
  • Finding Neverland
  • Million Dollar Baby
  • Ray
  • Sideways

I have seen all five nominees, and my favorite is Million Dollar Baby.
The performances are stellar, the story is moving, and it just grabbed me.



Best Actor


  • Don Cheadle - HOTEL RWANDA
  • Johnny Depp - FINDING NEVERLAND
  • Leonardo DiCaprio - THE AVIATOR
  • Clint Eastwood - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
  • Jamie Foxx - RAY

I still need to see Hotel Rwanda, but as of now no one could possibly beat Jamie Foxx. I was really moved by him in this movie. It was uncanny. It was almost like a documentary, he was so on target.



Best Actress


  • Annette Bening- BEING JULIA
  • JCatalina Sandino Moreno- MARIA FULL OF GRACE
  • Imelda Staunton - VERA DRAKE
  • Hilary Swank - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
  • Kate Winslet - ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND


This categorey is really my worst one. Somehow I missed almost all of these movies. I won't do more than say that I loved Hilary Swank in M$B. Since I have not seen the others, I can't say much more than that.



Best Supporting Actress


  • Cate Blanchett - THE AVIATOR
  • Laura Linney - KINSEY
  • Virginia Madsen - SIDEWAYS
  • Sophie Okonedo - HOTEL RWANDA
  • Natalie Portman - CLOSER

This looks like the toughest categorey. I saw three of the five and thought that all three of these ladies (Natalie, Cate, and Virginia) were the best part of the movie. I'm rooting for Cate Blanchett for AV8R.



Best Supporting Actor


  • Alan Alda - THE AVIATOR
  • Thomas Haden Church - SIDEWAYS
  • Jamie Foxx - COLLATERAL
  • Morgan Freeman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
  • Clive Owen - CLOSER

This is another tough categorey. I saw all of these films and was so impressed with three of them (Clive, Jamie, and Morgan) that when I saw them I thought they would/should be nominated for Oscars.
I think I am rooting for Clive Owen for Closer. Although the story was relentlessly disturbing- he was great. I was more impressed when I found out that he he played JUDE LAW'S part when he did the show on stage. YOU GO BOY. I am all about versatility!



Best Director


  • Martin Scorsese- THE AVIATOR
  • Clint Eastwood - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
  • Taylor Hackford- Ray
  • Alexander Payne- Sideways
  • Mike Leigh- Vera Drake

This one I don't have too much to say about. I mean, I was not crazy about Sideways and have no idea how it even got in this categorey.
I have not seen Vera Drake, so I have no idea. I am told it is slow. No, really S-L-O-W.
I'm rooting for Clint Eastwood. But I will still be happy if Martin Scorsese wins.


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Just Found This!

I was cleaning out some folders on my desk top and found this cool (if not very flattering) photo from a while back.





That's hysterical comic Margaret Cho with my boss; Tim, my friend Boone, ME, and her opening act: comic Bruce Daniels, backstage at the gorgeous Dodge Theatre in downtown, Copper Square.

Margaret was the tiniest bit uncomfortable backstage. I don't know if she is shy off stage (a lot of performers are) or if the whole "meet and greet" thing is wierd for her.




this is an audio post - click to play

Monday, January 24, 2005

Separated At Birth?

BUDDY looked at me like I was stupid when I said these two looked alike:








YOUR THOUGHTS, PLEASE?

Jeff, Johnny, and Clint

On Saturday, I had one of the most fun nights in a while. Parley, my new friend Kevin, Jeff, and I went to see "Spanglish." I will spare you the details of the movie, as Parley and Jeff have covered them quite well. BUT- I had the best time talking and hanging out with the boys after the movie. We ate at Hamburger Mary's and drank a few beers. Totally fun.






I can't believe Johnny Carson is dead. No reason to be shocked, he was 79 years old. No one needs to mourn promise unfulfilled, he certainly led a full and happy life. But it still saddens me profoundly to think that he is gone. When I was a little boy, I loved Johnny. (He reminded me of a kind, sober version of my father.)

Even as a kid I was on to him- I knew he was a little bit corny, I knew some of the jokes were a little stale, and I knew he pandered to certain guests. But I loved him. He knew he was corny, so it made it ok. It's surprising, in retrospect, that I liked him so much. I had no patience for Bob Hope and his ilk. I rolled my eyes at their cornball schtick.

I always got more of a kick out of David Letterman or Joan Rivers. But Johnny was still special to me. I cried during his last episode. I watched every day of that last week as he said his goodbyes.

That is what I remember most: when Johnny said goodbye, he meant it. You did not see him in the center square on Hollywood Squares. You never saw him making the award show circuit collecting honorary awards. He never staged a come-back special or retrospective clip show. And he had every opportunity to do those things. He just decided it was time to go, and then he went.



I have been singing "One For My Baby (And One More For the Road)" all morning. Remember Bette singing that to Johnny on one of the last shows? I had to ask my mom and dad special permission to stay up late that night.
If you have not see it, it is immortalized on Bette's "Experience The Divine" cd.








RUN Do not walk to see Clint Eastwood's masterpiece, "Million Dollar Baby."

WOW.
I will not say anything else about it.


Friday, January 21, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

What Ever Happened To Baby Joan?

It’s Gay Men’s Diva Week at sevillomatic.blogspot.com.
There was Cher on Tuesday, and Travis, Nathan, and I took in acerbic comedienne Joan Rivers last night.


When I was a little boy, I was fascinated by her. She was outrageous, she said things other people were afraid to say, she was always dressed to the nines, and made more fun of herself than any of the other targets of her sharp tounge. I would go through the TV Guide each week, looking to see if Joan doing the "Tonight Show.". (Are any of you old enough to remember the "Tonight Show" when she filled in for Johnny Casrson?) Those weeks that hosted were always a treat for me.

Ms. Rivers took the stage last night in a flurry or turquoise chiffon and blue sequins. After she made a hasty entrance, she took the orchestra to task for screwing up her entrance, and scolded them for missing "the fucking rehearsal." She was not a woman amused. She made them re-introduce her the way they do "In real theatres."

From there, she knocked down all of the tacky potted trees they used to decorate the stage. (Good call, Joanie.) After the initial shock from her entrance and her appearance (she looked like a cross between a Brazilian transsexual and Jocelyn Wildenstien.) it was a no-holds barred ride. She took everyone on: the Bush Twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, PETA, old people, Jews, gays, gay terrorists, Princess Diana, Cher, Madonna. No topic was off limits: plastic surgery, Reagan’s funeral, marrying for money, sagging vaginas (you read that correctly,) orgasms, fake orgasms (the only time she got "booed") 9/11, 9/11 widows.

Sure she is a little corny, a little tacky, but she is sharp as a tack. Her act was tight as a nun’s asshole. (I got that from "Sideways.") Seeing her live was almost surreal for me. Some people know that she was most definitely an inspiration for me as I created the Barbra Seville persona. So I was little in awe, a little jealous, and wildly amused. From the way she worked that stage (on 4 inch stilettos, no less!) for 70 minutes, you would never know she was 71.

Amazing.

Afterwards, we stopped to see the second installment of Evelyn Edwards’ new show at Pookie’s. I have had it up to my eyeballs with Charlie’s, so after a quick cocktail, I toddled over to Roscoes with Marcus for a few beers. Sooo fun. We met a few boys, met up with a few more friends, and then hit it to PLAZMA, before finally going back to Chez Marcus for more beers and season 3 of "Strangers With Candy."

Late to work today. In last night’s clothes. Shame, shame, shame.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

A Lot To Say Today...


Watching the inaugural events this morning as I prepared for work, I was caught up a bit in the emotion, history, and pomp of it all. Sure, I did not vote for George W. Bush; but I think it's awesome that we live in a country where there is a peaceful transfer of power. No Matter What. Our leaders are not dragged out of the White House at gunpoint. We do not exile our leaders or execute our leader's opponents.

More than being about any one man, I think that day is about celebrating our history, our traditions, and showing the world what liberty, freedom, and democracy look like.

I am not participating in any of the anti-inaugural protests, either. I probably would not turn my back on the presidential motorcade during the parade if I had the chance to see it.

President Bush, please do not waste my good will.

Next up.
My mom sent this to me, today.



A picture of my stepbrother. (Whom I have only chatted with via email.)

It's odd, because we are half brothers, my mom thinks we look alike (I kind of see it,) he is in radio (I was on the air with KZZP/KISS FM for a while,) and he is pretty conservative (I am pretty liberal.)

This is the second time in the last week that I have had long lost family visited upon me. I wonder what I am supposed to be getting from this?

Finally, I saw "Sideways."
I was not blown away by it. It is a nice enough story. The performances are good. Only a few scenes with Virginia Madsen and Thomas Haden Church are truly standouts. But what's the hoopla all about?

I still need to see "KINSEY","HOTEL RWANDA", and
most of all "MILLION DOLLAR BABY"!!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

The Cher-est Show On Earth



I (like every other homo in the Central Corridor) trekked out to Glendale Arena to take in the 250-somethingth performance of Cher's farewell concert.

Seriously: Buddy, Carlos, Melissa, Josh, AC, Richard, Travis, Nathan, Ted, Jim, James, Thomas, Scotty, Miggie, JT, JD, Michael-Steven, Craig, Jeff, and Chris were all there.

This makes three times I have seen the FAREWELL tour. She swears this is it. But I think that if people keep buying tickets, she will keep coming through town.

The concert:
I have mixed feelings on it. It definately seemed a little more toned down and streamlined that the previous incarnations. Which could be good or bad. She had a few new costumes, and added at least one new song to the line up. Ted and I were both pretty sure we had never heard her sing "Love Hurts" in concert. It was fantastic.

In any case, it was nice.

My gripes:

Cher's voice is not her strong suit, by any means. It has a distinctive sound, to be sure. Even that distinctive sound was not at it's best last night. There were some moments when it seemed that she was walking through the routines. The interludes where she was gone to change costumes were out of control. I'd rather see her wear the same outfit for 15 minutes than see a black stage for 2 minutes every other song.

My favorites:
My favorite part of the show was the "Sonny and Cher" tribute. There was something bittersweet (and almost sad) watching her sing with video clips of her younger self, and the clips of Sonny and her. That show was off the air before I was old enough to watch it. Only as an adult did I learn about her or see any of those shows.

She seemed genuinely grateful to her fans. Her thanks you's seemed sincere and heartfelt.
She does not take herself so seriously (I'm looking at you, Madonna.) that she is no longer fun. The whole show had a definate "wink-wink, nudge, nudge" feeling to it.

Final word?
Maybe not the greatest show on Earth, but certainly the Cher-est.
A fun filled night.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Have You Evah?



Have You Ever Googled Yourself?

I was upset to find out that when you do a image Google search for me, that the first thing offered is not me

Monday, January 17, 2005

I Reserve, I RESOLVE, I Have a Reservation! What Do You Mean It's Not In the Computer??!!



In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Slap stupid people in the head.



Get your resolution here.



Look Out Joan and Star

Here's my take on the Golden Globes:

Emmy Rossum looked fantastic! (White Ralph Lauren)



Eva Longoria was too cute! (60's inspired cocktail dress)



Annette Bening: Ok, so I totally love her. But what was with that cool as ice accpetance speech and reaction? Even so, she still looked like a movie star.



Hilary Swank. Perfect. (was it copper or brown?)



Terri Hatcher. Goddess-like. The silver/platinum Donna Karan gown and soft hair. WOWSERS.



Marcia Cross? I love you, Bree Van de Kamo, but I was not loving this dress. And I wish her hair was a little bit bigger.



Cate Blanchette. I am not sure about the dress, even though I love her. (JPGaultier.)



Natalie Portman is taking a lot of guff for her dress, but I liked it. She looked young, glamorous, and sweet.




One of my favorites was Felicity Huffman. I have liked her for a while, and to see her so glam after looking a wreck on "Desperate Housewives" well it was a nice change. Sand colored v neck gown. Perfect body for it, too.




Mischa Barton. I loved her goddess-style gown. Lots of skin. There were a lot of gowns with key-holes and cut outs. I loved them. Her's was one of the best.




Nicole Kidman. The peacock feather was a little silly, but so what. She looked amazing. I want a dress in that color. Was it green? Blue? It was Chanel.



Now people, Star Jones should know better than to let Joan Rivers pick out her outfit for her! She looked like the bridesmaid at a Ghetto Wedding. I wonder if her gay husband does her hair and make up? It always looks perfect.





Mariska Hargitay. Well, let's just say it was cold in there. She still looked fantastic.





Saturday, January 15, 2005

A Blast From The Past



No, I really mean.. THE PAST.
That's my grandfather from my mother's side.
Dead before I was born.
Never knew him.
Only seena few pics of him.
Everyone thinks I look like him.

What do you think?

(For the record,I think he is very handsome.)

Friday, January 14, 2005

From My Lips To Your Ears

Thursday, January 13, 2005

PIRATES OF PENZANCE



When I got this photo, I realized I never blogged about the 1st day of 2005!

I rang in the New Year with Parley, taking in a fantastic production of Gilbert and Sullivan's (NOT as I overheard someone say, "Gilbert O'Sullivan.") Pirates of Penzance.

Parley took me to a fabulous dinner at The Compass, high atop beautiful downtown Phoenix. It really was a great night.

I was not sure about the show, because I had never seen it (and a terrible, horrible, awful habit of mine is not liking things that I do not already know.) I did not know any of the music, and because of the long night before, I was a little punchy and antsy when we went to see the show.

When the overture started, Parley said to me (in the genuinely sweet way that only he could..) "C'mon, please don't be cynical. Enjoy it."

And I totally did. The show was fantastic. The sets were cool, the songs are very clever, the cast is immensely talented, and the costumes are FABULOUS.

The pic above was taken the next week, when I hosted the Echo Night at the theatre. Tim (my boss) swears I added myself to the photo... but no , that is really the Major General’s daughters and me.

I host a lot of special (and not so special events,) or do promo work for special (and not so special) events all the time. One of the great things about doing stuff like that is that I often get to meet the people backstage. I never care if they are famous, or not. I just love to see the action backstage. (I think I wrote about this already.) So having already seen the show, I was ecstatic to meet the girl second from the left. I could not take my eyes off of her whenever she was onstage. I was delighted to later find out that she is from Phoenix. How cool!


Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Thanks A Lot, But No Thanks



So this was in my guestbook last night:
"Hi, My name is Jessica and I work for "The Maury Show" in New York. I'm working on a fun show about fabulous drag queens that you may be interested in... It is important that we talk ASAP. LOVE YOUR WEB PAGE!! Look forward to hearing from you, Jessica The Maury Show 1-800-XXX-XXXX EXT: 8449"

Now, I am as big a fame whore as I know. So from my deathbed, I called Jessica to find out what was so important that I talk to her ASAP. It seems that Jess and Maury are looking for drag queens to appear on a future show, entitled "From Geek to Glamour." And wanted to know if I had anyone I would like to be reunited with to show them how fabulous I have become.

Well first of all, Jessica: I have been pretty fucking fabulous most of my life. Second of all, I do not need to help Maury perpetuate the stereotype or myth that all drag queens were helpless, feeble, pushovers as kids. That they were geeks, insecure, plain, and to be pitied. Thirdly, if Maury and Connie are looking for someone who is willing to be exploited and made a fool all for a free trip to where ever "Maury" is taped, (which, by the way, I had no idea was still on the air.) I suggest you look elsewhere.

So don't come to BarbraSeville.com selling crazy: we are all stocked up here.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Don't Worry About Me. I'll be Fine.



Since I am on my deathbed, (thank you for your concern dear readers) I am at a creative deficit. Due to my impending death I cannot think of anything witty, clever, or inspirational to share. To amuse you, I am introducing a new segment of my blog.

"Richard's Favorite Things"



Today, I share with you RALPH WIGGUM.





Lover of Lisa Simpson.
Eater of paste.
Picker of nose.
Only son of Chief Wiggum.
Player of flute.
And yes, wearer of rubber pants in the 2nd grade.

I love "The Simpsons." There are so many characters on the show that make me laugh. There have been many episodes that make me laugh YEARS after seeing them.

So, today is dedicated to Ralph Wiggum.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Bonus Blog.. Now 50% Bigger!

That's the blog that's 50% bigger, not me. I'm looking fantastic, thankyouverymuch.





I have something else on my mind today.
Not, not BRAD AND JENNIFER (though that has me worked up, too.)


My Entertainment Weekly came today, and I was ECSTATIC to read this article.

I was beginning to wonder if I am the only one who is annoyed by these. There are times when I am actually offended by the practice. Hopefully, it will get better before it gets worse.

Here a Cher, There a Cher, Everywhere a Cher- Cher.

I can not get the sound of Cher out of my head. Last night at e-lounge we did an ALL CHER version of She-Lounge.
Yeah that sounds fun, but you did not have to listen to the Cher for 5 hours last night. Mind you the show was only two hours, but I was listening to her for a few hours yesterday to make sure I knew the words to my songs.

We had them all: blonde Cher, fat Cher, 60’s Cher, Dance Diva Cher, Latin Cher, Cher and Peter Cetera (well, Barbra and a puppet.) basically we had more than our share or Cher.



Friday, January 07, 2005

Two More Bottles of Wine

Ugh.
Last night I indulged in a few too many glasses of wine. Not even good wine, I am afraid. But it was chilled, it was free, and I was there.

I'm feeling the after effects this morning, and may still be drunk.

I hosted the reception for Echo Night at the Theatre. It was sort of intimate, very nice, and I got to meet most of the cast of Pirates of Penzance. They are so talented, and I got to flirt with a few of the pirates. WOOF. More than anything, I enjoyed getting a tour of the theatre and watching the backstage goings on. I could have stayed their all night. I love legit theatres. Love the feeling, love the people, love the lifestyle. There really are no people like show people.

Of course, I looked stunning. I wore my Miss Gay Arizona evening gown, which is not the most comfortable garment I own. But I figured, heck- If a night at the theatre is not a good enough occasion for beaded gown, what is?

Afterwards I schlepped to Pookie's and proceeded to get full blown boozey. (I hate the word drunk- I get boozey.) The show was okay. Kind of quiet there, too. It's that rough spot after the new year celebrations.

I'm off tonight- I may see a movie.


Thursday, January 06, 2005

WHY? CAN'T? YOU? GIVE? HER? THE? R E S P E C T ?

SHE'S? ENTITLED? TO???!!!!

I have often wondered this about my favorite diva of all time. Ms. Patti LuPone.


She of "EVITA"
She of "ANYTHING GOES!"
She of "LES MIZ"
She of "SUNSET BOULEVARD"

She is THE musical theatre diva of our day. But no. Who gets the love and respect? Bernadette Peters. Linda Eder. GLENN CLOSE? I'm tired of it.


Well, it seems that SOMEONE has finally taken note.
From Liz Smith this morning:
BROADWAY'S belter Patti LuPone is off to California this week to guest ap pear on "Will & Grace," playing - Patti LuPone! She follows in the high-heeled steps of Cher and Jennifer Lopez, both of whom have played themselves in this TV hit. (When Madonna guested on "W&G," she did not appear as her famous self but played a wacky comic character.)

LuPone continues to tour with her one-woman show "Matters of the Heart." She is prepping to star in "Regina," the Marc Blitzstein 1949 musical adaptation of Lillian Hellman's drama "The Little Foxes." (Tallulah Bankhead, Bette Davis and Elizabeth Taylor each scored in this role! - sans music.) Patti's "Regina" happens March 10-12 at D.C.'s Kennedy Center.



On March 14, Patti will be at Carnegie Hall in a solo night titled "The Lady With the Torch." She'll cap all this on March 30-April 1 in a concert of Stephen Sondheim's "Passion," playing the role of Fosca. She co-stars with Audra McDonald and Michael Cerveris.

Let's don't cry for the powerhouse that is Patti LuPone.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Pardon Me While I Try To Learn HTML CODE for my blog

Up until now, you have had to content yourself with my decidedly unSEVILLIZED blog.

Well, no more people!

Stand by while I learn how to MAKE LISTS!

For a drag show, just add:

  • Drama
  • Booze
  • Coty Powder


Or I can MAKE MY POINT BY BEING LOUD!

Or when I am boiling

MAD

I can use RED LETTERS!

When I am thinking of

Hmmm... Chocolate

I can use BROWN LETTERS!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

It's a Little Known Fact

Back To My Website
Here is some stuff a lot of people do not know about me.

1. My name on my birth cerificate is NOT the name I have ever used.
2. My first job was at McDonald's. (I lied about my age.)
3. A teacher cruised me while I was still in high school.
4. I won "Miss Congeniality" in three drag pageants. I voted for myself each time. I have actually voted for myself 5 times.
5. I hate my smile.
6. I never (ever) liked girls. Always liked boys. I remember being jealous when a boy named Riley played with other kids back in 1st grade.
7. The people I would most like to meet are Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey.
8. I have peed in a moving car.
9. I have peed out the window of a moving car.
10. I'm not that innocent.
11. The first concert I ever saw was Tina Turner and Mr. Mister.
12. Buddy is the person (non-family) I have known longest in my life.
13. I think my mom really DOES like me best.
14. Even though I adore them, I bet Bette Midler and Madonna are UBER-bitches.
15. I hold my dog's face and kiss her right on the mouth.
16. I am pretty sure I will die relatively young, and relatively tragically.
17. I owe Columbia House Records and Tapes for the 12 tapes I got for $.01.
18. I almost always sleep naked.
19. I think all guys cheat.
20. Sometimes I feel fat and completely unattractive.
21. Sometimes I feel like I have a great body and that I am totally hot.
22. I have felt both of those ways in the same day.
23. I spilled water on a nasty customer once on purpose.
24. I have tripped unruly children in department stores.
25. I smoked pot once. I completly understood what Bill Clinton said when he said he did not inhale, because I did not, either. I coughed and never got high.
26. I have never bought condoms or lube. (Always used the free stuff.)
27. I won $1,000 in Las Vegas.
28. I once quit a job mid-shift, without telling anyone I was leaving.
29. I once quit a waiter job mid-shift, telling only my tables I was leaving. ( I took their bills with me, too. )
30. At 14, I got caught stealing candy and gum from a "Lucky's" Grocery Store. I got taken home in the back of a police car.
31. I have told someone I loved them when I did not.
32. I have dated people I did not like, just to have "something to do."
33. The saddest moment in my life was when my dog, Desmond died.
34. I check out guys packages way too much.
35. Even though I seem pretty tough, it's pretty easy to bully me or push me around.
36. When I was 17, I answered a personal ad from the New Times. He showed up at my door. I was horrified.
37. I think I am smarter than most people.
38. I have no tatooes or piercings.
39. I've lied to have sex.
40. I've lied to get out of having sex.
41. I've had sex with someone else's husband/boyfriend.
42. I think guys dressed in costumes are HOT.
43. We were almost homeless once when I was growing up.
44. My favorite song of all time is "Imagine."
45. Sometimes I am freaked out when I realize everyone is watching me while I perform.
46. Driving fast scares me.
47. Once, I was in an accident and my mom said she was driving.
48. My real dad died before I ever even knew who he was.
49. Movies, songs, and the news make me cry alll the time.
50. I rarely (VERY RARELY) cry over my own problems.

Monday, January 03, 2005

This Does NOT make up for "Speed 2" But Still Pretty Freakin' Cool



You go, Sandra Bullock

Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying (about myself) and Love The Bomb

I refuse to let the predators, ugliness, and inhumanity of this world shake my belief that most people are good. That most people want to do the right thing, That most people want to help. That most people will step up to the plate if you ask(and sometimes..let) them.

Last night was kind of a strange night for me. There were some obstacles for me to overcome before we got the show going. I am ashamed that I let myself get so caught up in some petty details and personal drama, that I almost missed out on an amazing experience. (Which completely goes against my NY Resolution to keep my head in the moment and appreciate what is going on around me.) I blogged, emailed, and posted about our Red Cross benefit. So let me tell you that it was an unqualified success. On a moment’s notice, we were able to "rally the troops" and raise $650.

I know we are not curing cancer here, and that $650 is not a lot of money to some people. What was more important, is that several business offered up free goods and services for us to auction, that several entertainers gave up their time and talents, that so many of my friends came out to give what they had. That Robert came to the bar and decorated for us.

More than one person came up to me last night and told me how good it made them feel that we were doing this. How good it made them feel to be a part of it. How they wish they could do more. One girl was bidding on a gift basket, but was out bid. So after the auction she came up and told me that she still wanted to be able to donate something, and gave us an extra $20. This morning, Tim said he was sorry he missed the show and made another donation. Heck, even Darin took a break from heckling me (he asked about you, Parley) to slip a few bucks for the cause.

So without getting too terribly weepy and sweet, I just need to remind myself (and you?) that we are all in this together. It’s important to be reminded that there is a whole world outside of gay marriage, gay bars, blue states and red states. It’s nice to be reminded that people care.