Friday, February 25, 2005

Open Letter to Celebrities and Wannabe Celebrities

Dear Celebrity or Celebrity Aspirant,
Although I am not nearly as famous as I would like to be, I would like to share some advice to help you keep in good stead as you navigate the perilous waters of fame, infamy, and the harsh scrutiny of the media spotlight.

Do not make sex videos. I do not mean to brag, but I am pretty sure I have had more sex in my 32 years than the hotel heiress has had in her 20-something years. Despite the impressive number of sexual partners, I have managed to avoid participating in a sex tape and it's subsequent sex tape scandal. (And yes, I have been asked.)

Fred Durst, you are an idiot. (A really hot idiot-) Not just a sex video, but a sex video on your camera phone?

Come on, now.

Thank you for your attention.

From my lips- to your ears,

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Blogged Down

Prolly wern’t ‘spectin’ to hear from me, huh?

One of the things I do not like about email, instant messaging, text messaging, and maybe blogging is that even though these should be tools to help you communicate or bridge a gap, it seems like they sometimes widen the gap.

Lemme explain.

Instead of calling, emailing, or replying to my emails, I have a friend who just "checks (my) blog" daily to make sure I am ok. When I don’t post, he wonders what’s wrong. -Not enough to call me or ask me though.

Have I made a mistake in being too personal in my writings? Am I copping out on real interaction by expressing myself to strangers and friends via a computer monitor?

Your thoughts?

Oh, and here is a new pic.
I really like the look of this hair and costume.
I was doing some Kelly Clarkson songs from Breakaway, absolutely my favorite cd right now.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Please Leave A Message

I am going to take another day or two away from my blog.
No worries, I am fine.

B-mail me if you want: BarbraSevilleATaolDOTcom
When I have something on my mind, I will let put it out there.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Long Time No Blog

A truly L O N G weekend. Can't say I accomplished too much, really.

Not much to say today.

This has me just sick.
I am ashamed to be a human being when I read this kind of stuff.

Something more upbeat tomorrow, I promise.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Awards Season *OR* The Sarah Siddons Award

It's that time of the year!
Awards season.

I actually hate it because from the time the ballots go out to the time they announce the winners, I worry.

Oh, I should clarify. Our local gay paper does a "Pride of Phoenix" award every year. You can vote for favorite website, favorite restaurant, favorite event, favorite club, favorite show bar, and yes... favorite female impersonator.

In the 10+ years I have been doing drag, I think I have nominated for favorite queen 7 or 8 times. I have won four times. And even though it's just a certificate, (a really cool certificate, which I display proudly in my drag room,) I really want to win.

It's not just "want to win," it's "need to win." One of the more unsavory side effects of being in "show business" is that it sometimes makes you competitive. I can keep it in check most of the time. I don't get too competitive, because I am proud of what I do, and think I do what I do really well.

But there is a part of me that is afraid that if I don't get nominated or if I lose, that means that I am "losing it." That I am slipping, or that my "time" is over. I know that is totally unhealthy, totally unrealistic, and something I should not concern myself with, but that's how it is.

I remember the first year I was nominated I was so happy. I could not believe it. The first year I won, I actually cried. I'm embarrassed to say that one year, I mainly wanted to win so another person in particular would not win. (I won.) Another year had been a little rough for me, and I took the award as a sign that people still liked me, no matter what.

A sad fact of life is that we all only have a "shelf life" of so long. You can only be the hot commodity (a phrase I hear people use, but detest..) for so long. People younger, prettier, or with a different take on the scene will always be around.

I shall not explain the Sarah Siddons Award to those of you who don't get that reference. In fact, I will not even provide a link to it.

I don't measure my worth an entertainer by the crowns, titles, or honors I have won. I don't measure a show's success by the amount of money I make. I don't define myself by the amount of applause I get at the end of the night. So why do I let this get to me?

What do you think?

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

From My Lips To Your Ears

Oh, and I thought cheerleading in high school was bad.
These two have a lifetime of teasing, cat-calling, and over their shoulder watching ahead of them.
Hell, I do drag two or three nightsa a week, and I would even make fun of them!

See? Knitting is not just for unattractive single women, and old ladies any more!

Seriously, I know knitting is cool right now. Who thought knitting would be trendy????? But, clearly it is.

For boys, even.

Reflection PT II

Scroll down for the pic.
Sorry it's so big.

More at


Someone snapped this picture of me backstage at Cruisin 7th.
I think it's really cool.

Nothing to say today.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


I'm looking for a copy of the Melissa Etheridge~Joss Stone "tribute" to Janis Joplin from the Grammy Awards.

Does anyone have it?

I want it for a upcoming show.

Please help?

Monday, February 14, 2005

I Heart You

Happy Valentine's Day! As of right now (10:22 AM) I do not have a valentine. But that's OK. In the past I have been one of those people who pooh-poohs the whole Valentine's Day idea. In fact, last year I played "Down With Love" by Barbra Sreisand all day.

For some reason the idea of the holiday makes me smile this year. What's so wrong with a little bit of love? Heck, I am even going to call my mother and father today. (Thier first instinct will be to ask me if every thing is ok. I mean, I think I have called them 3 times in the 15 months they have been gone.)

Maybe I will go out tonight in search of my Valentine, maybe I will stay home and watch a romantic movie by myself, or maybe I will invite someone over to watch with me. Who knows.

I must also use this space to once again wish my friend Jim a happy, healthy, and restful birthday. He and I have had a lot of bad times together. But we have also had some really awful times, too. A lot of people don't know this, but there was a time when he and I were hardly even speaking (unless you count yelling "YOU NASTY HATEFUL BITCH" across the bar, as speaking.) But we're friends now, and I am glad I got to share his birthday with him.

To the friends, the lovers, my family, the gawkers, the lurkers, and the birthday boys: put a little love in your heart. It's free. Happy Valentine's Day.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

From My Lips To Your Ears

Do you know Angela?

Friday, February 11, 2005

I Hear You, Chappaqua!

My latest (though if my past history is any indicator- probably temporary) obsession is the stat counter that I (with the help of Parley Joe) installed on my blog. It tells you where people find your site, which site they clicked from, how long they stay, if they return, and from what cities, countries, or states they have come.

Of course I get a lot of traffic from here in the Grand Canyon State. I'm getting hits world wide, really. I know that is not purely a reflection of how fantastic my daily musings are, so much as a by product of people using that pesky "NEXT BLOG" button at the top of your screen. I have heard from all fifty states, now. How cool is that?

But the thing that stymies me is that I get several hits from Chappaqua, NY nearly every day. Chappaqua, please phone home. Let me know what's on your mind.

If it's you, Hillary, just call me on the private line. We can chat freely. If this is about "B," I already told you how to handle this.

If it's you, Rosie- just tell me what's on your mind. I know you have nothing to do since you are not producing shitty musicals right now.

Now, Alec if it is you- you know what the judge said. I kept my promise, you keep your distance.

The rest of you, let me know where you are coming from? Where'd you find me? What's on your mind?

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Gemini Tendencies *or* A Post For Parley and Jeff

Last night I had a show with Claudia. After one of my sets, I went to the bar for a libation. Jokingly, I said to the guy in front of me, "Are you going to buy me a cocktail?"

He turned around and said "sure."
He was adorable. Reminded me of Paul Rudd.

At that point I realized I "knew" him. He gave me the drink without recognizing me. Of course, that was not enough for me. I thanked him by his first and last name. That really freaked him out. You should have seen the look on his face when he realized how I knew his name.

  • Glass of Wine: $3.00
  • Novelty Tee-Shirt: $23.00
  • Shot of Cuervo: $4.75

    Realizing you have initimate knowledge of the evening's entertainment?


    Funnier still, a few weeks back I invited him out for a movie to meet some of my friends. (He's from Alabama- does not know too many people here.) Over dinner he mentioned that he had stopped at Pookie's the night before and was not real impressed with the show. (thankfully I was not in that one.) He mentioned that he has never really cared for drag, too much. At that point,
    and Jeff nearly choked on their dinners.

    To this young man's credit, the first thing he said to me last night when he realized how he knew me? With out missing a beat, he says: "Wow, I guess should have kept my mouth shut at dinner."

  • Wednesday, February 09, 2005

    I see London, I see France...

    So a wise guy in Virginia has come up with the idea to impose a $50 fine on people who wear pants so low that they reveal their underwear.

    NOW, PEOPLE... Before we bother ourselves with monitoring the sometimes hot, yet but always questionable practice of letting one's pants ride low, let's crackdown on a few other larger issues facing our world.

    Say we start with...





    Fried Hair?

    Let's get our friggin' priorities in line, Virginia!

    Monday, February 07, 2005

    From "BLAH" to " Teacher, My Pants Are Tight.."

    I was feeling blah this morning.
    I wanted to find a graphic to illustrate the feeling of blah.

    So googled blah. HAND to DOG, this was the first thing that came up.

    My mood has picked up considerably.

    Friday, February 04, 2005


    "A Chorus Line" was pretty fantastic. I had a few issues with it, but I was not dissapointed by any means.

    There were a few stand outs: mostly the actress who played "Morales" and the actor who played "Richie." The part of "Sheila" is always every gay man's favorite. She is a tad bitchy, kind of jaded, and a little too smart for the room. Every time I have seen this show, the actress playing "Sheila" gets one of the loudest ovations. So I am not sure if the actress playing her was as great as I think she was or if it's just THAT good of a part.

    One odd experience for me was seeing a show that I know so well (and love) being done by local talent. I usually see touring productions of shows or I see local productions of obscure or original material. So it was really awesome to see that these amazing singers and dancers were from right here in Phoenix. I even knew a few of the cast members.

    I think they took a few liberties with the show, and there were a few parts of the show where it really shows it's age. (a few obscure references, some names that were dropped that flew right over the heads of some of the audience, and a few dates that did not "gel" with the idea that the show takes place "today.")

    Maybe I am nitpicking. Maybe I would have been offended had they updated it.

    There was more than one time where I felt a sharp pang of jealousy watching the singers and dancers do their things. I wanted to play this part, I wished I could play that part.

    Travis and Nathan both enjoyed the show. I realized that maybe not everyone can identify with the show or it's characters if they have never wanted to be on stage. I saw the show from a different perspective this time, too. The last time I saw the show, I saw myself in certain characters. This time, I saw myself in a whole ‘nother group of characters. (That's the great thing about being a Gemini- or a drag queen: I can play Sheila or Paul!) I am not sure if that is because I am considerably older, or if my point of view has changed, or it has to do with Barbra. But in any case, it reminded me of why I love to perform. It also reminded me that the shelf life of an entertainer *any entertainer* is only so long.

    I'm going to blog more about some other stuff later.
    Remind me to tell you about the Cassie/Barbra comparison. Too funny.

    Thursday, February 03, 2005

    I'm so excited because I'm gonna go to the High School of Performing Arts, I mean I was dying to be a serious actress. Anyway ..

    With that I started my drag career.
    The very first song I lip-synched at the 307 Lounge talent show was "Nothing" from "A Chorus Line."

    If you have never heard the song, it will be impossible for me to explain just how horribly the song was received. The term "lead balloon" comes to mind.
    But, I twirled on from there. (though the lead balloons still occur!)

    That show says it all for anyone who ever wanted to be a performer. Dancer, singer, drag queen. Whatever.

    So tonight I am so excited to see the show at Phoenix Theatre.
    It's my favorite show of all time. Just as exciting as seeing the show is that Nathan and Travis are going. Nathan has never seen the show. I love sharing my favorite things with people. (Though I am always a tiny bit dissapointed if they don't love them the way I do.)

    But Travis HAS NEVER SEEN A LIVE PLAY or MUSICAL. I feel bad that he is starting with (in my opinion)one of the best. He will be dissapointed in almost everything else from here. But hopefully this will open a whole new world for him and he will be hooked.

    I'll do a review in tomorrow's blog.

    Tuesday, February 01, 2005

    Too POOPED to Pope?

    Pope John Paul II was rushed to the hospital today.
    He is suffering from exhaustion and ill with the flu.
    Suppose he is too pooped to pope?

    WHO will sign the big checks?
    WHO will transfer child molesting priests to poor neighborhoods?
    WHO will oversee the oppression of women's rights?
    WHO will look the other way when people persecute gays in God's name?


    Hang in there, Holy Father!