Friday, April 29, 2005

On The Road Again *or* I've Got Friends In Strange Places

I'm writing from (surprisingly) beautiful Boonton, New Jersey.
I spent all day in Atlantic City (we walked the Miss America "Rose Walk!") sight-seeing, shopping, eating, drinking, and (in my mom's case- gambling) just enjoying the scenery.

I played in the Atlantic Ocean (will post a pic soon!) and ate salt water taffy. Pretty standard stuff.

Yesterday, we met up with Troy (my mom's friend, and a frequent blogger- I tried to access his site today, but it would not work for me. That's why there is no link!) and took in the "Hedda Lettuce Show."

She was very sweet and very kind- even teasing me from the stage. More on that later including pics.


HERE'S WHERE IT GETS STRANGE:


As always happens to me, I ran in to someone who knew me. His name is Rob, and we worked together in Phoenix. I heard someone yelling "Barbra!" on the boardwalk.
Of course, I looked.
Of course, he was talking to me.

HOW BIZARRE!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

525, 600 Minutes

One year ago this week, I made plans to go out on a date with a guy that I had no interest in what-so-ever. Why not, I thought? It will give me something to do, I wanted to see "Mean Girls," plus I knew he was already a good kisser.

Cut to me, one month later:


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Since than I ran the gamut of every possible emotion with this young man.

This is us in August- on this particular day I wanted to kill him, I believe.



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Luckily (for him,) these days I have fewer thoughts of his death and dismemberment.

But for the record: he is still special, and will always have a spot in my heart that has a sign that reads "Reserved For Nathan."

Happy Manniversary N8.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

SURVEY SAYS:

My friends at STATCOUNTER.COM (and by my friends, I mean me.) have shown me that people hit on my site with more frequency (and stay longer) when I post pictures.

Why I care about this is beyond me. I mean, I don't get a paid per visitor or by the minute (unlike my other job..) but I do tend to obsess about these things.

So in the spirit of keeping you interested, I have posted a pic for you.
That's me, Angela Dodge, and Chia, She-A,I mean: GIA Monique at E-Lounge.

I love us in these dresses. But they are so short, that if Gia doesn't wear panties, her balls show.

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Monday, April 18, 2005

Moonlight Movies

The City of Phoenix and Echo Magazine sponsored the kick off of Councilman Tom Simplot's "Moonlight Movie Series."

Basically, it's a free movie in the park. How much fun is that?
Jeff, Buddy, Ted, and I packed up a cooler with some Mike's Hard Lemonade, diet sodies, chips, and other assorted snacks. We tossed down a few blankies, and surrounded ourselves with a few hundred of our closest friends.

The weather on Saturday was nothing short of GLORIOUS. The Indian School Steele Park is one of the prettiest places in town. "The Women" is one of my favorite movies. So it was a no-brainer. A total recipe for fun.

Parley introduced me to this movie, so many years ago. I remember having a hard time keeping track of who was who, what they were saying, and how they all related to each other. I mean it's a fairly large cast and, what with the movie being 60 years old, I didn't really recognize any of the actresses.

After repeated viewings, I have grown to LOVE this movie.

It's surprisingly ahead of it's time, yet PAINFULLY dated at the same time (there were several scenes that caused me to wince in discomfort.)
The clothes are ridiculous, the acting is over the top, the sets are plush, and the witty, bitchy, catty dialogue is a MILEAMINUTE. Basically everthing you need to amuse a bunch of queens!

It would have been a good time, even if the movie was bad. There were families, lesbian couples, boyfriends, dogs, and even a few homeless people. People were oddly on their best behavior, too.
Nary a mobile phone rang.

And to think I thought parks were just places for gay men to cruise.

Moonlight Movies

The City of Phoenix and Echo Magazine sponsored the kick off of Councilman Tom Simplot's "Moonlight Movie Series."

Basically, it's a free movie in the park. How much fun is that?
Jeff, Buddy, Ted, and I packed up a cooler with some Mike's Hard Lemonade, diet sodies, chips, and other assorted snacks. We tossed down a few blankies, and surrounded ourselves with a few hundred of our closest friends.

The weather on Saturday was nothing short of GLORIOUS. The Indian School Steele Park is one of the prettiest places in town. "The Women" is one of my favorite movies. So it was a no-brainer. A total recipe for fun.

Parley introduced me to this movie, so many years ago. I remember having a hard time keeping track of who was who, what they were saying, and how they all related to each other. I mean it's a fairly large cast and, what with the movie being 60 years old, I didn't really recognize any of the actresses.

After repeated viewings, I have grown to LOVE this movie.

It's surprisingly ahead of it's time, yet PAINFULLY dated at the same time (there were several scenes that caused me to wince in discomfort.)
The clothes are ridiculous, the acting is over the top, the sets are plush, and the witty, bitchy, catty dialogue is a MILEAMINUTE. Basically everthing you need to amuse a bunch of queens!

It would have been a good time, even if the movie was bad. There were families, lesbian couples, boyfriends, dogs, and even a few homeless people. People were oddly on their best behavior, too.
Nary a mobile phone rang.

And to think I thought parks were just places for gay men to cruise.

The City of Phoenix and Echo Magazine sponsored the kick off of Councilman Tom Simplot's "Moonlight Movie Series."

Basically, it's a free movie in the park. How much fun is that?
Jeff, Buddy, Ted, and I packed up a cooler with some Mike's Hard Lemonade, diet sodies, chips, and other assorted snacks. We tossed down a few blankies, and surrounded ourselves with a few hundred of our closest friends.

The weather on Saturday was nothing short of GLORIOUS. The Indian School Steele Park is one of the prettiest places in town. "The Women" is one of my favorite movies. So it was a no-brainer. A total recipe for fun.

Parley introduced me to this movie, so many years ago. I remember having a hard time keeping track of who was who, what they were saying, and how they all related to each other. I mean it's a fairly large cast and, what with the movie being 60 years old, I didn't really recognize any of the actresses.

After repeated viewings, I have grown to LOVE this movie.

It's surprisingly ahead of it's time, yet PAINFULLY dated at the same time (there were several scenes that caused me to wince in discomfort.)
The clothes are ridiculous, the acting is over the top, the sets are plush, and the witty, bitchy, catty dialogue is a MILEAMINUTE. Basically everthing you need to amuse a bunch of queens!

It would have been a good time, even if the movie was bad. There were families, lesbian couples, boyfriends, dogs, and even a few homeless people. People were oddly on their best behavior, too.
Nary a mobile phone rang.

And to think I thought parks were just places for gay men to cruise.

Friday, April 15, 2005

My Colors are "Blush" and "Bashful!"

We DO live in Arizona, correct?
So we DON'T observe daylight savings time?

Them WHY does it feel like we have added an hour or two to this unending day?

Here is a cool pic of my friends Shaun, Mike, and me at my She-Lounge show.


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The humidity made my hair fall. It was BIG before this photo was taken.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Operation Adopt a Prisoner

So most of gay Phoenix knows that my drag daughter Claudia B is in jail for her crimes against the entertainment industry.

Yes, finally audiences have risen up and demanded that she be held accountable for her uninteresting performances. High time, too!

Hee hee.

Just JOSHing. She is in jail for a dui.
Here's here booking photo:


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Now before you guys get crazy on me, the reason I am sharing this is because I am giving you an opportunity to write to our little jail bird, care of FMYLTYE.

YEP! SEVILLOMATIC is the "Blog that cares.."
I have been writing him a few times a week, but thought I would open it up to you, too.

If you want to send her a letter as a comment (below) I will print them and send them to my wayward daughter.


It's all up to you!

A Classy Affair

A Classy Evening-

Nathan asked me last week if I wanted to see Fever Pitch. Since my boyfriend, Jimmy Fallon was in it, I wanted to see it, of course. So we made plans to see it last night.

After a slice of surprisingly greasy, but affordable pizza from Costco, we ambled over to the movie theatre.
As we walked up to the box office *I SWEAR TO DOG* there was a rather unsavory looking fellow urinating on the plate glass window of the theatre. I have seen a lot in my 20-odd years, but this actually shocked me.


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"Is he pee-ing?" I asked Nathan.
"It looks that way.." he demurred.
After the shock of that wore off, we headed in to the ice-box posing as a theatre that was showing "Fever Pitch."

The movie was fine, I guess.
I’m not sure, because I fainted during the commercial where the hot dog dances with the grape sodey, and slipped in to hypothermia-induced coma.

It had it’s moments (the movie, not the coma), but was pretty plodding, predictable, and a tiny bit boring.

If you don’t count the stomach-churning pizza, the vagrants, and the gassy movie mate, it was a fun evening. Best of all- I was home in time to see both episodes of "The Simpsons" on the WB.

SCORE!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

A Few (Reasonable) Requests.

I can only imagine how motherhood will affect her.
BRACE YOURSELVES!

Please, don't start writing shitty songs for your unborn child.
PLEASE, no Demi Moore-style Vanity Fair cover photos.
And, PRETTY PLEASE, spare us the Star Jones-like self obsession with yourself. You are not the first hillbilly to have life spring forth from your fleshy loins.

Thank you.

Give 'em What They Want..

Some things I just don’t understand.
I have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on drag over the years. Cute wigs, big wigs, fun wigs, beaded gowns, fabric gowns, custom made costumes, store bought drag, jewelry, make up, shoes, and boots. I’ve made replicas of my favorite diva’s costumes, I’ve hot glues rhinestones and sequins ‘til I thought I’d go blind.

Through the years I have run the gamut from high diva drag, to impersonations. From Britney to Bette. From disco to dance. From ballads to showtunes. Showgirl to Hooter Girl. I’ve gone on stage looking and feeling like a goddess, I’ve gone on stage looking like a hooker.

But what do they love? What does my audience want from me? What elicits the cries for "MORE!"? What has people stuffing five and ten dollar bills in my bra?

Me. In my $6.95 cheerleader costumes from Saver’s.
Running around.
IN TENNIS SHOES!
With "bloodied" panties.
Lip-synching, flailing about, and over-acting to Julie Brown’s "Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun."

Seriously, last night I rocked out to Kelly Clarkson. Felt beautiful, danced my butt off, and twirled myself in to a coma in a costume that I spent several hour making.

Then I switched it up.. hot pink: jewels, beads. feathers, fabric flowing behind me. Enough blonde hair to keep Dolly Parton in style for months. Glamour for days.

But what does Apollo’s want from me on a Monday night?
You guessed it: an encore of "EVERYBODY RUN! THE HOMECOMING QUEEN’S GOT A GUN!"


Apollo’s was a ton of fun last night. Ron, Lee, and the gang there really do what they can to make you feel special. Thanks, boys!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

I'm Poped Out.



The sight of our flag at half mast always uspets me.
I am the kind of person who often tears up during the national anthem, the kind of person who is proud to be an American (not to get all "Lee Greenwood" on your asses-) and the kind of person who has an honest respect for the "Stars and Stripes."


I'm also the kind of person who believes the pope was probably a good man. He probably did his best to lead a life that was as close to God as he could get. I can understand people who are sobbing, I can understand the people who want to wait in lines for 1 day to glimpse the remains of a man they admire, I can even understand (and appreciate) most of the endless coverage the media has given this event. Some of the rituals and ceremonies have been quite fascinating, not to mention beautiful.


This being said, official government has no (zero, zilch, nada, nil, nyet) business flying the symbol of our beloved country at half mast in honor of the pope.

I am officially pooped . Enough already.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

More Fun Than the Law Allows.

Pride was this weekend here in the Valley of The Sun. You see, because we have such brutal summers, we do our celebration of butt sex, muff diving, and rainbow feather boas at a more reasonable time of year.

This was the first year in a while that we have had a two-day pride celebration, and it was really one of my favorites. Saturday was my day to enjoy the day, drink some beers, see old friends, make new friends, and enjoy the parade: all while free from the shackles and inhibitions of "The Blonde One."

Oh, no. I love drag. I love being on stage. I have no intentions of giving it up just yet.

BUT it’s nice to step away from the spotlight, and literally watch the parade.

This is Ted and me lathering each other up with Bullfrog before the parade started. (Ok, he lathered me up { …Lather….} while I just lie there.)


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The festival was great. But the after party was just the best.
Hundreds of (probably over a thousand) people at the Ice House. My friends were everywhere, the mood was awesome, the boys were beautiful, the weather perfect, and the setting was amazing.

On Sunday, it was time to get back in a dress for the Phoenix Phollies Show. As usual, the girls whipped the crowd in to a frenzy.
Here is a pic of us doing "Lady Marmalade."


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I know that no one looks that great in these pics, but I think they show how much freaking fun this was. We had a blast, the audience had a blast, and that is all that matters!



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Oh-
If you are one of those people who complain about pride (here in Phoenix, or anywhere...), that it was too hot, too long, too short, too big, too small, too expensive, or anything else: don’t bring me no bad news. My weekend rocked. If yours’ did not, you just were not trying hard enough.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Fun with Photos!

In case you were worried, (and some of you were!) I am doing just fine.

Been so busy with work, drag, boys, and other *ugh um* activities that I have neglected my blog. My bad.

This pic was taken at Echo Day at the Renaissance Festival. It was fantastic afternoon.

After I got the pictures, I had Jorge doctor the photos a little bit.
Can you spot the differences?


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Oddly, my friends were not nearly as amused about this as I was.
Go figure.