Monday, August 29, 2005

Shake A Tail Feather!

Sunday was unreasonably and unseasonably hot.

I am not the kind of person who complains about the weather, usually.

But seriously.

It was hella-hot yesterday.
So, to escape the heat, I waddled off to see "March of the Penguins."

It was so good!

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I have to admit, that while watching the over-fed penguins scoot around, I could not help but think of my baby girl, Regina.

Besides watching the cute penguins do their thing for an hour and a half, ("their thing" basically consists of walking 70 miles each way for food, twice a year. Oh, and when they are not walking, they huddle together and shiver.) I learned all about the emperor penguin.

I learned that:

  • Penguins are a lot like gay men, they will go long distances for a hook up.
  • Female penguins are a lot like gay men, they will fight over an available male.
  • Penguins are a lot like gay men, when they finally hook up, they mate for about a year, and then all bets are off.
  • Male penguins are a lot like gay men, they spend the winter sleeping with lots of strange males (unlike me, the penguins do it to keep warm.)

The movie is a nice change of pace and a great way to spend a hot afternoon.
I highly recommend it!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Mysterious and Spooky: Another of My Favorite Things!

The other night, after a date and cocktails at Charlie’s, I came home and happened upon another one of "My Favorite Things." I considered blogging about it right then, but decided to just enjoy it and go to sleep.

No, not a handjob.

I ran in to my friends who live at One Cemetery Lane. (NOT 1313 Mockingbird Lane!)
Morticia, Gomez, Fester, and family have entertained me since I was just a wee lad.
Yes, one of my favorite things, is "THE ADDAMS FAMILY."

In Texas, it was broadcast every afternoon at 2. I would beg, plead, fight, cry, and do what ever I had to do to wrest control of the remote control from my older brothers and sisters. And for 60 minutes, (they would run back2back episodes!) I would laugh at the madcap antics of the family Addams.

Caroyln Jones’ stoic, deadpan delivery was always one of my favorite parts of the show. She could deliver an outrageous line with the straightest face, with out any emotion. Whether she was feeding Cleopatra, pruning her roses, or driving Gomez crazy with desire, she always had my attention.

John Astin always brought the perfect combination of insanity, chivalry, and outright LUST to his portrayal of Gomez.

As much as I loved Morticia, Gomez, and the rest; nothing made me as happy as seeing Cousin Itt scurrying on to the screen. He would make me laugh like a fool.

Maybe the thing I like best about the Addams Family was that they were probably the only family more bizzare than mine.
When compared to them, my family looked like the Cleavers.

Whatever the case, this show has aged very well. It still made me laugh, snicker, and smile all these years later.

Let’s raise a glass of hemlock tea to the Addams Family-


Friday, August 19, 2005

WHEW! This One Was a Squeaker!

flooble said that I am
(And I'm damn proud of it.)

Take the
Gay Quiz

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

..and the award goes to....Regina Felange!

Well, there is good news and bad news on the injured puppy front.

1st: I need to get her an agent, because she is the Greta Garbo of the canine set. Seriously, she has managed to limp from person to person, to drag herself across the floor, and give her patented "puppy dog eyes" look at exactly the right time to elicit the sympathy and concern of every person in a 20 foot radius.

Seriously, tres’ dramatique.

Now the bad news. Old girl has arthritis. Being about 10 lbs overweight (THE DOG, NOT ME. I am looking fabulous,thankyouverymuch.) is not helping matters. So I have to give her some anti-inflammatory medicine, help her lose a few lbs, and bring her back to the vet in a month.

But seriously, I have no idea where she picked up her flair for the dramatic.

I had to bring her with me to the office after we went to the vet, and I swear to DOG< that every time a new person came in, she would hobble her way across the floor, and harrumph, and sigh, ‘til they paid her some attention.

BUT, when I got her home, she was footloose and fancy-free, almost knocking me down to get to the refrigerator when my roommate opened it.

I guess like her dad, she has a thing for "le publicite."

Monday, August 15, 2005


My little baby is not feeling well. I have had Regina Filange ( see also Regina Phalange.) for about 7 years. She is my chunky monkey, my little girl, and my angel puss. I got her as a companion for my late dog, Desmond.

After living with me and various roommates over the years, Des got terribly agitated and nervous when he and I moved out on our own, so my vet suggested I get him a companion.

That’s right, a pet for my pet.

Enter "Buffy."
A buff colored cocker spaniel who needed a new home because her current owner was not able to take care of her, due to her health.

I thought it was far too much of a cliché for the drag queen to have a dog named Buffy, so I asked Budward to help me re-name her.

She answered immediately to Regina Filange, and the name stuck.

Over the years, Miss Filange (which is what I call her most the time) has packed on a few "El Bees." She is pleasingly plump, and happy as a pig in poo’.

During the rains last week, she slipped on the hard wood floor, and I think she may have hurt herself. She seemed okay until yesterday. She started limping and was having a really hard time getting up.

If she is not feeling better when I get home from work, I am going to have to take her to the vet. I am worried about her, and it really hurt my heart to have to pick her up and take her outside this morning.

So think pleasant thoughts for my BIG, FAT COCKer Spaniel.

Friday, August 12, 2005


This is my friend Gloria and me at Miss Gay Arizona.

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She loves drag more than almost anyone else I know.

She is UBER-Sweet and has the sweetest, m ost sincere smile you will ever see.



Anyone know that song????

Lauren Bacall (REALLY) sang that song in a almost impossible to find show called "Woman of The Year."

But, I digress.

Since I have not had a lot to say lately, I am just posting pics for now.

This photo is Tori, Phaedra, me, and Devina at rehearsal for Miss Gay Arizona-America.

We are all wearing matching T-shirts that have our names and years on the back.

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Thursday, August 11, 2005

They Come For The Wings, But Stay For The Service!

I had to work a double this weekend.

My biscuits is barking!

This is my doing the day shift at the Wink’s Reunion Party at Plazma.
(Can you believe they make me bus tables???)

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Here I am with the evil step-sisters.
They are all dressed for the ball, while I am left behind to clean tables and sling chicken wings.

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That’s Eboneezer, Divitra, Julie, Dianne, and me.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

It’s Two, Two, Two Posts In One!

It’s Two, Two, Two Posts In One!

Yes, Darling Blog Reader.. I am going to regale you with two separate stories today.

1st, we start off with

"Never Accept a Blind Date From Me."

I guess I have the worst taste in men.
Lemme, ‘splain.

On Sunday, I stopped at Target for laundry soap. As I approached the store, a HOT guy caught my eye. He was like 22-25, toned, tight, and just a sexy mo-fo.

As I was checking him out, he SNATCHES this woman’s purse in front of the store!


Unfortunately for him, plainclothes detectives also see him, and chase him down.

I comfort the crying woman and tell her to be glad that she is okay. She writes down my number because I saw the whole thing and described the hottie to her. (I did not call him a hottie.)

At this point the detective asks me if I could identify the guy. "Of course I could, right down to his perfectly shaped butt," I think to myself.
Turns out they popped the perp down the street, and wanted to know if I could give a positive ID.

(I was like, "Well, does he have a purse? Cause if so, that’s him.")

This totally hot cop pulls up in his cruiser and asks me if I saw the purse snatching.
So they load me up in to the police car (first time getting in to a police car by my own accord-) and drive me around the corner to look at the guy.

We turn the corner and sure enough:
There he is.

Mr. Hottie McPurse Snatcher*

So I tell the police what I saw, and leave them with my info (and home number. I mean at least we know this guy has a job and a car, right?) and they bring me back to Target.

Just in time for a gaggle of queens, queers, fags, and sissies to see me with the police.


*Not his real name.


"80’s Ladies."

Last night at Apollo’s, Divinity had her "Goddess Review" with a trip down memory lane.

We all did music from the 80’s. (The 1980’s, to be exact.)

I had fun with Stacey Q,
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Samantha Foxx,

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Old School (and still chubby) Madonna, Image hosted by

and squeaked by on a technicality with remakes of "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac and "Photograph" by Def Leopard.

Devina dug through her closet and pulled out her denim jacket and served up some Star Point, Lisa Lisa, Brenda K. Starr, and Angel Bofill.

Rhyannon broke out with Eurythmics, The Motels, and Cyndi Lauper.

And Divinity featured , Olivia Newton John, among others.

There were so many rubber bracelets, lace gloves, side swept pony tails, and spiral perms, that I thought I was on the set of

It was

Friday, August 05, 2005

Next Time, I Will Pose In A 2005 Mustang

After I had a nice lunch today, an old friend (I mean 15+ years..) stopped by the office.

He said he thought of me this morning, and went to my website. After looking at some pics and reading my blog, he decided he should stop by and see me.

For no reason, he thought he should bring me an orchid plant, and a bottle of wine.

He said he KNEW I liked chardonnay (if only he knew...) because in my most recent pic, I am holding a glass of it.

So his "random act of kindness" totally made my day.

BUT, in case this should ever happen again, I am going to pose for a pic in a 2005 Mustang (baby blue.)

That way, if someone is not sure what I like, they can just pick up one of those for me.


Hee, hee.

Thanks Dale!


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

It's Not Easy Being Green

Oh, sure it is.
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Monday, August 01, 2005

The Winner Is...

Miss Gay Arizona was this weekend.
I had the best time all night.
But not as good of a time as Amanda- seen here before he was crowned Miss Gay Arizona 2006.

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The look on his face tells it all.

Congrats GARY BURY!